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It's 15th Oct 2010, Friday. Early in the morning.

*breaths in*

It's been almost 4 to 5 months since i last posted anything on my blogspace.

Over this period... there are so many things had happen.. the good stuff and the bad stuff..

I think about it today right now at this moment... there are just so many layers of... ups and downs. It's as if you get to watch this movie of your own life sobbing and laughing away.

My grandpa passed away about a month plus ago.. although he wasn't that close to me but the picture of him in the total white outfit never leave my memories. It's amazing how sometimes one death could bring people together and decide to do things that should have been done long time ago. However, either way... i'm just glad that now we all learnt to appreciate each other more.. choosing to spend more time together and understand each other.

You know... we go through the routines of life and for me... i hardly find myself doing anything without any music playing in the background. I don't know about you but i love music.. i love playing the latest songs that's on the radio.. latest songs we sing in church.. and it was funny as i set down at my desk the past few days... looking through my itunes playlist... i do not have a single idea of what i want to listen to... but only knew in my heart that... once again.. i've disappoint God. Making silly decisions. that makes no sense at all. I knew deep down in my heart that it's time... it's time to run to God and set things right. Every single time when i run back to him... i saw the weakness of myself.. the dark side which we choose to ignore or escape from.

It's not the best time in my life, in fact it might just be the worse and lowest valley of my life. Never once did i felt so upset with myself.. Never once did i felt i've done something so bad so bad that i couldn't pull myself together. So bad that it stinks.. but having said that.... after running for so long... I guess it's because of our imperfection that make God loves us more each day. He could have turn his back on us but his grace and love embraces our imperfection.

"I guess.. Our Imperfection is what made God loves us more..."